Op-ed

I was sitting at the pool with my two little ones, excited to finally dress them in their almost-matching Old-Navy bathing suits( why don't the infant and toddler collections ever match?). My toddler was going to go down the two steps into the baby pool, and splash around with shrieks and giggles. My baby was going to smile picture-perfect and get a beautiful suntan. And i was going to put a check on my checklist that i was finally on vacation. 

I turned around to give one smile at the world before the first big splash, when another mother caught my eye. She seemed to be returning my smile, but wait, why was she standing up and coming over to me.. leaning against the gate in a most condescending manner?

"Sarah, it is VERY hot outside. I still cant forget how i burned my baby's head last summer, and shes not as fair-skinned as your kiddos. It would be appropriate to put a hat on them in this weather. " And just in case i skipped kindergarten, she picked up a hat to demonstrate. 


I know my customers. " Thank you so much !" I gushed in my most " what would i have done without you ?" voice. " Kids stay put and dont move one inch, i am running to get you my five-years-old-and covered-in-dust black bathing caps!!!" well, not exactly. But i did return to my bungalow and get two head coverings because, hey, that is what isappropriate.And my whole body felt the laser beams of all the other mothers approving looks at my receding back...

This got me thinking. Its so interesting what is considered socially acceptable. Try to change the details of the scene. Or reverse it. Imagine i was going over to her and saying , very sweetly, " I know it is hot, still, it is appropriate to wear socks or cover your hair at the pool"  I would be ostracized! I mean," it is absolutely none of your business what someone else is wearing and it because of people like you that the system is failing !!!" And of course "dont judge!!!" 

No one would accuse me of sincerity.No one would accuse me of caring. And whether i have a valid point or not isnt even the issue, its that "how dare i meddle into someone else's life?"

The question is why? Why do our oversensitive antennae shoot up at the mention of something spiritual?

To use an analogy. If someone had ten loaves of bread and he happened to chance by a group of starving children, would he hesitate before offering it? Would YOU hesitate? Not at all. Because the piece of bread is REAL to us ! Physical nourishment is touchable. 

That's how i understand the people that offer travelers to put on Tefilin in an airport. They're not doing something strange. They're not even breaking themselves to do it. The secret is that to such individuals, spiritual nourishment is as REAL as physical. Therefor how can you NOT offer it ??

I think its time we realize that physical protection from the suns rays is essential, as a reflection and partnership with our spiritual health.